Too Cute To Scare
by casfics
Summary: When a busy Lily gives Iain the all-important task of finding Halloween costumes for their sons, it proves a lot easier than he first imagined it might.


'Definitely not.' Lily didn't even so much as glance up from applying her lipstick.

'What? Oh, come on.' He laughed, standing in the doorway.

'No, Iain. You are not dressing up our sons as creepy twins. They are little boys!'

'So?! Don't be boring.' He replied sulkily. 'And, that's not very PC, is it? No such thing as boys costumes, or girls costumes...'

She gave him a disdainful look. 'Just find them a real one.'

'Like what?' He asked, outraged, jiggling the little boy on his hip.

'I don't know! Something cute. Oompa Loompas, thing 1 and thing 2, something from Star Wars? Use your imagination. There's a lot of competition at that party. All the parents from Music Makers are there.'

'Yes, and I'm very familiar with those parents and think you have nothing to worry about. Everyone loves the twins! We've not got time for any of that fancy crap, we're going to the party in half a flipping hour!'

She widened her eyes, turning to face him. 'That is _not_ my problem. You've been at home all day.'

'Exactly!'

'Oh, shut up.' She dismissed him, zipping up her makeup bag quickly. 'I'd trade you in a heartbeat to spend a day with these little munchkins.' Quickly pushing it aside, she stood up and took the child off him.

'What's the matter, my love?' She crooned. 'Daddy being silly?'

'Max doesn't think I'm being silly, do you?' Iain went to tickle his chin, making him squirm and bury his face into Lily's shoulder.

She arched a perfectly-drawn eyebrow. 'This is Oscar.'

'Yeah? I knew that.' Iain ran a hand through his hair before turning round in hunt of the other baby.

'We've nearly had them for two years, you should be able to tell.'

'In my defence, they are exact copies of each oth-' He called, before pausing noticeably.

Lily's stomach sank. 'What? What is it?' In a matter of seconds, she was beside him.

Both stood, unspeaking, mouths agape.

'Iain!' A choked squeal finally escaped her mouth. Unlike her, once the shock had worn off, his expression was the picture of delight. Her hand made contact with his upper arm.

'Ow! What did you do that for?'

'What did I do- what did _you_ do that for? Allowing this to happen! You don't see the problem at all, do you?!'

'No, not really.' He admitted, with a laugh.

They both fell quiet as they looked back towards the baby. He sat, chubby legs splayed, in the middle of a bright white circle.

'He's been making snow angels, getting his practise in for Christmas.' Iain said.

After giving him a thundery glare, she tossed her hair over a shoulder and crouched down to her son.

'Give that to mummy, ta.' She prised his sausage fingers off the plastic container, then inspected the label.

'Look, I'm sure it'll wash.' Iain crouched down beside her.

'It won't. It's notorious for staining carpets and materials. And children. Oh, Maxie, why?' She groaned.

'Bye bye.' Oscar observed out of nowhere.

'Yes, bye bye expensive cream that should have been kept well out of reach!' She shot Iain another look, while he dodged her eye contact. 'Bye bye time, bye bye money, bye bye- oh, don't you poke in it too!' Lily grimaced, hoisting him back up and standing back in the doorframe.

'You're cleaning this up, Iain.'

'How is it my fault?!' He exclaimed.

'Um, how is it not?' She retorted.

'Mumma...' Oscar balled his fists into Lily's shoulders, determined to be heard. All the while, his brother sat innocently on the carpet, tracing patterns in the gloop with a podgy index finger.

'I was changing them, then I got distracted once I'd put Ma-Oscar in his wig, and I thought I'd come show you and then-'

'Ugh! Useless!' She flung a rag at him, despairing. 'And the time! I need to do my hair, I can't go out like this.'

As soon as she'd put Oscar down, he begun to wail piteously for his mother.

'Hey, mate, she's coming back!' Iain soothed, outstretching an arm for his son. 'Unfortunately.'

As he leant down to see the extent of the damage on the floor, he was oblivious to the twins' impromptu cream fight. Looking up just in time, he froze. 'Max, no, that's naughty-'

Too late. Somehow, the culprit twin had managed to daub the innocent one in a thick covering of white. Before Iain could intervene, they had launched more at one another, both equally determined, like it was a game.

'Boys, stop!' Iain shouted, losing his temper. A moment of silence. Two little pairs of big brown eyes pooled with tears. Chins wobbled. Iain didn't have time to brace himself for the noise.

Predictably, Lily came dashing back upstairs. 'What's all the fuss? Why are they so upset?' In a rushed frenzy of stress and panic, she didn't notice that both twins had become even more identical, artificially so.

'I lost it with them.' He admitted.

She tilted her head to the side, own eyes radiating hurt they felt. 'I can't even hug them, look at the state they're in.' She looked at him accusingly - she could be scary when she wanted to be. 'Sort it.'

Iain just nodded quietly, giving a gulp, while she flounced off to continue getting ready.

-x-

Three pairs of boots zipped up. Three coats were wrestled with and zipped up. Eventually, after an exhausting battle that involved screams and cries and tantrums and lots and lots of mess, they were ready. 'Remember, we say "boo" on Halloween because we need to be super scary. You ready? Shout her.' Iain whispered to the twins. 'Say, mummy!'

'Maaaaa...' Both twins shouted, then turned and giggled to each other.

'Shh, shh!' Iain flapped a hand, finger to his lips. They both toddled away, chuckling to themselves.

'I'm coming, I'm coming.' Lily dashed down the stairs. 'Where are they?' She asked Iain, confused.

'I don't know!' He replied, overdramatic, giving her a wink. 'Oh _no!_ We've lost the twins! Where are they? Uh oh...'

'What do you mean, _lost_ the twins? Daddy! I thought I could trust you...' She attempted to play along, waggling a finger at him while suppressing laughter of her own.

'Boo!' Max jumped out with a little giggle.

She nearly lost her balance at the sight that greeted her, clapping a hand to her mouth in fits of giggles.

'My babies! What has-'

'I kumpin.' Oscar lisped, reaching out for Lily's skirt. She quickly dodged, spinning round and climbing a step.

'No, you're not a pumpkin, you numpty! You're a ghost! Remember? Ghosty, because you are white.' Iain reminded, though he had long since lost their attention. He turned to Lily, who was appraising him with a smile. 'Does this top creepy twins then?' Iain asked with a grin, as both children fully emerged from behind the wall.

'Well! It's certainly... inventive.'

'See! Don't put anything past me.' He leaned in to kiss her.

'Lipstick, again.' She removed it with one swift movement of her thumb. 'You surprised me.'

Their attention was at once brought back to the children, who were stomping noisily up and down the hallway in their new light up shoes. Every bit of visible skin was plastered in an alarming shade of white; two pillowcases made their outfit. Their once brown curls were white. Strangely, it was endearing, and she didn't so much as worry about having to wash it out later.

'Look at them.' He chuckled. 'Turns out they helped me with ideas.'

'Clearly they did.' She smiled, picking up her handbag off the side. 'I am beginning to regret buying those shoes, though.' She winced as the toddlers both squealed with delight, spinning round and round together until they were dizzy.

'And we waited an hour to get them fitted.' He reminded her.

She gave him a look. 'That's when you're meant to say, _no, darling, they're beautiful shoes and they'll last the boys so well!'_

'Max already went through a puddle in his earlier. I tried to tell him, but-' Iain shrugged.

'He's 20 months old, of course he didn't listen.' Lily giggled, love bubbling inside.

'Well! Kid's on a mission to make mess today. Mud, nappy cream, anything he can find! He just loves it, doesn't he. Oscar, however, is more of a diva. Hates owt remotely messy.' He paused. 'Like you, I suppose.'

'That isn't a bad thing.' She glanced over to where he was pointing at his reflection in the mirror. 'He is, he's his mummy's double.'

'That best change - I can only handle one of you.' He told her.

'Don't be cheeky.' Lily made her way over to their sons and bent to pick Max up, while Iain took care of the other.

As they made their way down the drive, Lily tutted. 'His shoes are caked in mud, Iain. They have wellies for a reason.'

'Yeah? Giving their new shoes a test run.' He raised an eyebrow.

'Plain irresponsible.' She shook her head, though her eyes sparkled. Deep down, she felt lucky to have him - and all of them. Never mind the new brown carpet, which would now be forever stained. Never mind their beautiful curls, which would take at least a full bottle of baby shampoo to bring back to their original state. Little things like taking the boys to their first Halloween party felt so special, and she was sure that somehow, she wouldn't be forgetting the day any time soon.

 **Hope you liked, please review!**


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